I can text with my tongue
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
