i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize