just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
