i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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