please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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