these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
