that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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