I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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