i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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