Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
