they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
