No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
