Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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