I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
