i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
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just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
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Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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