On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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