We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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