You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
