super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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