My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
