hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
