she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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