I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
