I'm lost and stupid without you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
