dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
