Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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