Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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