Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
