made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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