I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
