I'm jealous of your bromance
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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