SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
