in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
