i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you will always have a special place in my vag
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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