I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
50% drunk capacity currently
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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