woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
and she was petting her beer can
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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