5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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