well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
