Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
