How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
