Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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