Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
