I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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