He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize