The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
