oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
