i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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