She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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