It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
