Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
