sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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