This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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