Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There r osticjed everywhere
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
