his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize