No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just pee around me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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