I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
