Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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