well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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