Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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