Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
In America we eat man semen.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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