Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
