you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
