You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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