hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize