i think i have herpe
just one?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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