I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
50% drunk capacity currently
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
