we're chasing vodka with high fives
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
