I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
